How I learned to love my school...a year later

I've made it no secret that my freshman year was a bit of a difficult one.  I struggled to find my place at such a big school, and often times felt disconnected.  I made some great friends, joined some great organizations, and had some great memories but there was always this uncomfortable cloud looming over me.  I lived in a dorm with a roommate I couldn't stand, with hall full of sorority girls I couldn't relate to.  It was a culture that didn't suit me and because it was such a part of my daily life, it also felt like an integral part of Mizzou.

Fast forward to my first day of sophomore year.  I had moved in just a day before classes began and I immediately felt overwhelmed.  I was terrified my freshman year discomfort would carry over.  It seemed like every girl in my class had her sorority bid day tee on, and I couldn't help but feel a little PTSD.  I kept flashing back to that same day just a year before, when I was a friendless sorority-less freshman.  Although I made the decision to withdraw from recruitment and although I knew it was the right decision for myself, I couldn't help but feel left out. And thats what I started to feel again.  I felt left out, like I didn't fit in at Mizzou.  And I panicked.  Despite all of the great memories I had built from the year before, I had yet to feel at ease with my University experience.  But luckily, it did all change.

Walking across campus I catch myself marveling at the fact that I am not only quite happy here, but I'm content. As a freshman I constantly struggled with asking the "what if's." What if...I chose a different school.  What if...I chose a different dorm.  What if...I had a joined a sorority despite my hesitations.  I didn't feel safe or comfortable in my surroundings and it clouded my perspective of Mizzou.  Yet, now as I type from my cute little apartment just down the street from Mizzou's magnificent columns I thank God that those "what if's" weren't a part of my reality.  I've learned to love my school like I had never expected to.  Living with a crappy roommate in a crappy dorm may have been hell at times, but it without a doubt made me a much stronger individual.  And I'm confident sorority life wouldn't have suited my personality or my path.  This school and all of my experiences, both positive and negative, have truly shaped me this past year and a half.  I've genuinely learned so much about myself and have never felt so proud of my own individual, independent, unique spirit.

If I had transferred schools, transferred dorms, or given into pressures to join Greek life all in an effort to find some sort of comfort, I'm confident I wouldn't have found it.  I know without a doubt, this school was meant to be a part of my journey. It may have taken me a little while, but I've truly learned to love my school and love all of my experiences here.


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