Michelle Tanner, Come Back!


            As a child I would watch Full House and Two of a Kind re-runs religiously, binge watching before binge watching was even a thing.  I had every Olsen twin straight-to-VHS tape (how great was Billboard Dad, When in Rome?!?!) and was utterly heartbroken when So Little Time was given too little time on air and cancelled.  Throughout much of my childhood I aspired to be just like them (the unknown Olsen triplet?), more specifically Ashley because you were kidding yourself if you didn’t pick a favorite.  They eventually dropped from our tv screens, and thus dropped from my radar a bit.  I went on to wannabe Hillary Duff, Miley Cyrus, and others but my shameless Olsen Twin obsession certainly came full circle.  Just as they inspired much of my childhood wardrobe, they have similarly shaped my more adult aesthetic.  They went on to kill the runways with The Row, their couture line and ensue closet envy everywhere with their release of Elizabeth and James.  And while I am constantly on the edge of my seat in anticipation for what they have cooking next (Hello, their Met Gala looks each year!) I never thought I would see them on my TV screen again, no less besides Danny, DJ, Stephanie and the rest of the clan. 

When I heard news of a possible Olsen Twin appearance I was giddy to say the least.  When the Full House spinoff became an actual reality I was naturally (but not happily) assuming Michelle Tanner would be absent.  However since, the duo has spoken out about a possible appearance.  And although I still find an MK & A return a bit unlikely, I couldn’t help but let my mind spin just a bit.  Can you imagine a 29-year-old Michelle Tanner? The Possibilities are endless but I’ve narrowed it down to a few of my favorite lives the youngest tanner could be living.  As long as she still spits out the occasional, “You got it dude!” I’ll be content.  

Lives-in-her-Uncle's-Basement-kind-of-girl
Michelle was totally obsessed with Uncle Jesse, although for different reasons than the rest of America (Seriously, he only gets better with age!) The two had some serious separation anxiety when Jesse got married and tried to lead a normal life by actually living in a house with just his wife.  The two couldn’t be apart and Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky ended up taking residence in the Tanner Attic.  Now, 29-year-old Michelle still cannot bring herself to be apart from her beloved Uncle and has refused to get her own place.  She spends her days eating Rocky Road ice cream and practicing her sassy comebacks.       

Criminal
DJ and Stephanie were constantly PO-ed at Michelle’s ability to get away with anything and everything.  Like that time she was told to not go swimming because it was too cold, and she went ahead and dragged her swimming pool inside for a little dip.  Danny directed his frustration at her older sister’s and just LOL-ed at his adorable youngest.  However, as Michelle aged her behavior didn’t seem to change thanks to Danny’s ability to overlook the misbehavior.  She ended up getting arrested and sentenced to a few years in the slammer for grand theft, she thought it would be totally fine to just take the neighbors cute convertible for a cross-country road trip.  Danny didn’t understand the big deal.  Now she is just straight chilling in prison waiting for her impending release, of course the whole fam files in for visiting days!  (Also, anyone else remember that time she kidnapped Tia and Tamera’s little brother so he couldn’t move away! Ah, how I love a good 90’s star cross over)

Women’s Rights Activist
Remember when Michelle decided to stick it to the boy’s and enter that soapbox derby race?  Not only did she totally kick some b-u-t-t, but she also managed to totally shut up her misogynistic haters!  Haters gonna hate, hate, hate and feminists gonna shake, shake, shake.  Now at 29 Michelle is continuing to shake, shake, shake, through her work as a Women’s Rights Activist.  She fighting for fair wages, raising awareness to stop sexual assault and saying “Ef You!” to that darn tampon tax!

Mrs. Steve Hale
Michelle was never afraid to take what she wanted, and this included DJ’s steady boyfriend, Steve (Can you blame her!?)  After Steve was sweet enough to give her a Valentine’s day cookie she decided they were totally soul mates.  While, everyone just laughed off Michelle’s intentions to marry her sister’s beau, she knew they were destined to be.  Now decades later she has finally sunk her claws into good ole Steve, making it officially with a beautiful outdoor wedding.  DJ refused to attend the wedding, miffed at her sister for snatching up her first love!  However, the girl's have since mended fences and Michelle & Steve are living in the Tanner attic, following in Aunt Becky/Uncle Jesse's shoes.  Sister's 5ever!

But seriously, how can they have Full House without the show’s best character!  Please come back Mary Kate and Ashley, we love you!!!!!


xo,

Meg

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